


1-10

by jenominn



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Jaehyun is a good friend, Kissing, M/M, Summer Love, bc i miss them so much, but also fluff, dancer Sicheng, i wrote like half of this in my english 101 class, inspired by the movie the way way back, it’s a rly good movie, jaeyong makes a quick appearance, saving the yuwin drought, sicheng just wants to be happy :(, soccer player yuta, they both work at a water park, they’re in uni, yuta is a ball of sunshine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 00:13:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20939111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenominn/pseuds/jenominn
Summary: An unsocial Sicheng is forced to go to his mother’s boyfriend’s coastal home for the summer and gets a job at the water park. He meets a worker there named Yuta, a happy virus, and starts to fall in love. Things get more complicated when he sees his mom’s boyfriend cheating on her with someone else, so Sicheng has to make the decision of either telling her, or keeping it a secret so he can keep spending the summer with the beautiful boy he met.





	1-10

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is my first full fic and wow is it longer than intended. i miss yuwin so much and wanted to save this drought. Like the tags mentioned, this book was inspired by one of my fav movies called The Way, Way back.
> 
> follow my social media au twt account if u want: @jenominau

“How about this one?”

His mom took a simple dark blue bathing trunk from the clothing rack and held it up in front of her son.

“Mom, please. I’m not a little kid anymore, I can pick one out myself,” Sicheng mumbled to his mom, not even paying attention to all the bathing suits she’s showing him. He looked outside the store window and saw the endless amounts of people flooding the mall. He never really got the appeal of it all. It was always so cramped and smelt of food he knows he shouldn’t buy because of the ridiculous prices.

“Sicheng,” his mom sighed, putting the suit back on the rack and resting her delicate hands on his shoulders. “Please just lighten up a bit and pretend you like me for a few hours. I just wanna spend some time with you, I never see my son anymore, you're always away at college now.”

The boy looked up at his mom in defeat. “You know I like you mom, don’t be ridiculous.” His mom smiled and pinched her son’s already-rosy cheeks.

“I just don’t like being forced to go to things when I’m a totally responsible adult who could be spending his summer a totally different way.” Her smile fell and she crossed her arms.

Sicheng knew his mom was doing his best. He knew he wasn’t a very outgoing person and now since the college year is over and the dorms are closed, he was stuck at home with his mom. Which, by default, kind of meant his mom now has control of him.

He had no plans this summer, with the exception of finding a job, which is why his mom is forcing him to tag along to stay at her boyfriend’s house this summer—in a coastal town, actually—along with his two children. Sicheng’s met the guy once, never had much problems with him, but it was super awkward. He’s never met his children, though. So spending his whole summer with them all sounded miserable to him.

He remembered trying to convince her into letting him stay home.

_“I was gonna get a job this summer, though, mom.”___

_ __ _

_“There’s plenty of jobs in town you can get there. There’s a water park near by, maybe that would be fun to work at.”_

—Which is exactly why they’re at the mall shopping for a bathing suit.

“What are you gonna do all summer, sit at home all day?”

“Practice dance. Invite friends over. Eat. Sleep in.”

“What friends?”

“Jaehyun.”

“You said Jaehyun doesn’t talk to you anymore.”

Sicheng humphed. He had a roommate named Jaehyun; he was his friend. He was so kind to Sicheng. They worked on homework together, spent movie nights together, told stories about their day to each other. Jaehyun never laughed when Sicheng made a mistake or couldn’t think of a word in Korean. He always comforted him when he was stressed from classes or dance or life in general. But when the second semester started, Jaehyun’s classes changed and it was more convenient for him to stay at the dorms on the other campus, closer to the building he had classes in. They simply got out of touch after that, neither putting in much of an effort to keep the friendship going. So Sicheng felt so lonely all the time ever since his absence.

Sure, they were friends, but they were really just... roommates. They rarely spent time with each other outside the dorms. Sicheng sometimes even felt like Jaehyun was just stuck with him and didn’t actually like him, but he knew it was his insecurities, and knew that Jaehyun was too genuine of a person to fake a friendship. Least Jaehyun sends him memes on Instagram time to time.

**@jungjae: [sent a post]**  
**@jungjae: thought of you when i saw this lol******

** **** **

Simple messages like that made Sicheng happier than he should feel. And he thought of himself as pathetic because of it.

He wished it was easier to make friends. He was told it’d be easier to make friends in college than high school. But whenever he’s in a conversation with people, his biggest fear is them disliking him. He’s scared they’ll think he’s annoying. And that’s why he dreads making friends. Even at 20.

His mother went back searching through the swimsuits and continued speaking. “Maybe you’ll make friends in the town.”

She held up another trunk, this time with three colors instead of one. “Go try this on.”

–––

It was a three hour drive until they reached their destination and as much as Sicheng hated to admit, the town was actually really laid back. It was nothing like Seoul. Though he lived in the suburbs of the city, away from the lively action, this town was different. It was small. Every building was a nice pastel color; even the houses. The buildings looked old, giving it a nice vintage vibe. Unlike back home, the houses here were all different designs and the grass of every lawn didn’t look like that fake, artificial green. Although he didn’t want to be here, there was a feeling of comfort in this town, and he was thankful for that. 

The car pulled into the driveway and his mom’s boyfriend came out from the front door. His mom got out of the car and immediately greeted him with a short kiss, followed by a hug. He was happy for his mom, but hated this feeling of an unfamiliar person hugging her. He sighed and looked out the window away from them, leaning on it. Adjusting his earbuds, he closed his eyes. He knew he had to get out eventually, but he couldn’t bring himself to it right now.

It didn’t last long, though, as he was started by a knock louder than his music and shot his eyes open to find his moms boyfriend smiling at him. He took earbuds out and cringed.

He got out of the car and gave his best smile back, even if it wasn’t very convincing. He didn’t have the effort.

“It’s nice to finally see you again, Sicheng,” the man said, pulling him in a hug. He felt sore from the long drive, and a hug from a man he didn’t know that much brought him much discomfort.

“Yeah,” he simply replied back, not knowing what else to say.

There was an awkward silence between the two but the man broke it and clapped his hands together with his smile. “Welp, dinners almost ready, let’s go inside. My kids are excited to meet you.”

_Yeah, right. They’re probably pissed I’m ruining their summer._

Sicheng grabbed his bags from the car and the man led them inside. He found the two kids in the living room, occupied by their phones.

“Seunghoon, Chaewon... this is Sicheng, Yifei’s son,” he said, referring to his mother. “Sicheng, these are my two kids.”

The girl looked about 16 and the boy looked about 14. Great. Teenagers.

They didn’t say anything and just awkwardly stared at him so Sicheng spoke instead. “Hello.”

They mumbled back a hello but they looked just as miserable as Sicheng. He knew they didn’t want him here.

“I hope you three can get along. How about you get to each other for a little bit while Yifei and I finish making dinner?”

“Actually, I was gonna unpack first,” Sicheng spoke up before anyone could say anything else. He turned to look at the kids, “Can someone lead me to my room?”

Both of them hesitated to get up until the girl did. “Uh, I will.”

She started walking up the stairs and Sicheng followed. They stopped at the door. “Here it is.”

“Thanks.”

“Yup.”

She then walked away, probably to sit back in the same spot she last was.

Sicheng closed his door and set his bags down, crashing down on the perfectly made bed. About to put his earbuds back in, his phone buzzed. It was a notification from Instagram.

**@jungjae: [sent a post]**  
**@jungjae: ahaha this is so true lmao!!**

Sicheng bit his lip and opened the message, revealing to be a meme. He laughed, but it wasn’t at the post. It was at himself.

“You just feel pity for me, Jaehyun,” he whispered. “You know I have no friends.”

He sent a reply back.

**@sichengg: omg this is great lol**

He turned off his phone and stared up into the ceiling, where little plastic glow in the dark stars were plastered. He stared for what felt like forever, not noticing the tear that fell down his cheek.

—–

“Your mom told me you were gonna get a job at the water park a few blocks down,” his mom’s boyfriend mentioned, finally remembering his name was Yeonkuk. They were eating breakfast the next day, but Sicheng was just poking at his food. Not that he didn’t want to eat, but whatever Yeonkuk cooked looked like muddy water.

“I don’t know,” Sicheng replied back, making brief eye contact before looking down at his food again.

“It’s a really fun place, I think you’d like working there. Whenever the kids and I go there, it always creates great memories.”

His mom joined in. “Sicheng, sweetie, you should go down there today and get an application.”

_”Wǒ bù xiǎng,”_he said back in Chinese, not wanting to sound bratty in front of everyone.

_I don’t want to._

She sternly replied to him, also in Chinese. “I’m not having any of this today. You’re going.”

She smiled and continued eating.

–––

Later that day, Sicheng arrived to the water park, which was a bit bigger than he excepted. Yeonkuk lent him his bike and used his phone as a GPS. It was about a 10 minute ride.

He put the bike on the rack along with others, waiting in a small line for the ticket booth, not knowing where else to go.

It was his turn but before he could ask the young lady asked, “How many?”

“Actually uh, I’m wondering if you guys are hiring...” he said, trying to sound confident. He wasn’t sure if it worked.

“Did someone say something about hiring?” a voice from inside the booth said. A friendly-enough looking man walked near the lady selling the tickets. Probably in his mid thirties. “I’m the boss, we can do an on-the-spot interview if you’d like. We’re actually short of staff this year and need them quickly as possible.”

Sicheng didn’t expect this, and wasn’t in anyway prepared. “That’d be great!”

The interview went better than he could have hoped for. The boss was super friendly and easy to talk to, which calmed his nerves a lot.

And to his dismay, the boss asked if he wanted to start tomorrow. Sicheng knew it was this or being forced to hang out with the others back at the house.

“Sounds perfect.”

He was given the red employee swimming shirt and a whistle. “See you tomorrow Sicheng.”

And he did. It was the next day, and he was dressed in his new swimming trunks and the given shirt, with the whistle around his neck. The dark blue and red didn’t quite match but it could’ve been worse. Like neon orange or something. He cringed at the thought. It was early, a few minutes before the park opened. The boss led him up the many flights of stairs that led to a water slide.

They finally reached the top to find someone already there, turning on the water for the slide.

“This is your co-worker.”

The boy turned around and stood up. He locked eyes with Sicheng and gave him the most beautiful, brightest smile.

“I’m Yuta.”

“So, Sicheng, what do you like to do?”

After the boss gave him a rundown of his job, it left him and Yuta alone. Sicheng won’t lie—he was entirely distracted by his co-workers beauty. He’s not one to stare, but it’s hard not to when you come across such a beautiful face.

He quickly snapped out of it. “Sorry, I’m just a bit tired.”

Yuta gave him another smile. “That’s okay! Don’t apologize.”

And then he giggled. He fucking giggled.

Sicheng’s cheeks were bound to be at least a little red at this point. “Um, to answer your question. I like to dance.”

“No way!” the blonde boy in front of him exclaimed. Blonde looked really good on him. Like... really, really good. “I dance too! Mostly hip hop and urban. It’s actually kind of a side thing now that soccer takes up most my time...”

“Oh. Nice. I’m trained in Chinese traditional dance. But now I do contemporary.” He hoped he didn’t sound too unenthusiastic. He just hated talking about himself.

“That’s so cool! Are you from China? I guess Sicheng isn’t a very Korean name.”

Sicheng was stunned at his energy.

“Yeah, I’m from China,” he didn’t want to say anything more. “Your name sounds very Japanese.”

“Ding, ding, ding!” he exclaimed with that big smile of his. “I’m from Osaka.”

Before Sicheng could respond, a group of kids came up the stairs, rushing to go first.

“Hey, hey, hey, one at a time now...” Yuta scolded, but in a playful voice. He may have only just met him, but he made such a good first impression that Sicheng couldn’t imagine this boy to actually ever yell at anyone.

There were two slides parallel to each other, so Yuta ran one and Sicheng ran the other. The line started to increase and Sicheng couldn’t help but steal glances at the beautiful boy across from him.

He looked down at the kid sitting at the slide, waiting to go, “Alright, you’re good.” And the kid took off.

He glanced at Yuta again, who was giving his kid a cue, finding himself pursing his lips to conceal his smile. The tips of his mouth curled up anyway.

Two hours later, it was their lunch break. Yuta and Sicheng didn’t really speak during most of their shift, simply because the line was so consistent that they didn’t get the chance. But whenever two people lined up at the same time, waiting for their cue, Yuta would make small talk with him. The people waiting didn’t pay attention to their conversations because of their excitement to go so it didn’t bother Sicheng.

In the staff room, which was more like a small and cozy cafeteria, Sicheng followed Yuta. (Their boss instructed Yuta to lead him where he needs to be).. He stopped at a table with other workers, already in conversation, enjoying their lunch.

Yuta cleared his throat, gathering the attention of the others.

“I would like to make an announcement,” he said in a dramatic, theatrical voice. “I present to you my new and super awesome co-worker, Sicheng.”

He looked behind him and grabbed Sicheng’s wrist, later putting his arm over his shoulders. “Which, by default, also makes you his co-workers. So please, welcome him.”

He felt his adrenaline rush at not only Yuta’s touch but also the many welcomes from the people in front of him. Most of them looked his age or a bit older. He felt overwhelmed at the amount of attention he was getting but it made him feel warm.

Yuta gave him another smile and then sat down, beginning to eat his lunch. Sicheng followed. The people made Sicheng feel more welcomed than ever, and his mouth hurt from smiling and his stomach cramped from all the laughter. He can’t remember the last time that happened.

When their break was over, Sicheng went back to work with Yuta, this time on a different slide. Since this slide took longer, which meant a longer cue, and there was only one slide instead of two, Yuta stood next to Sicheng. They could actually engage in conversation now, and even though it was Yuta doing most of the talking, Sicheng didn’t mind. He liked his voice.

After that shift, they got assigned to another ride for two hours, which led them to the end of their day.

“Today was fun,” Yuta said, bright energy radiating all around him. They were walking out of the park and into the parking lot.

“Yeah,” Sicheng breathed out. Noticing his quietness, he spoke louder, “It was fun.”

“I hope your first day didn’t suck too much, I know it can get boring at times,” he laughed. Sicheng shook his head and gave Yuta an affirming smile.

Yuta stopped in his tracks, causing Sicheng to stop too. “Do you have any social media? We should follow each other.”

“Um, only Instagram,” Sicheng replied back. He took out his phone and opened the app, handing it to Yuta.

Yuta took his phone. Sicheng assumed he was just typing in his username, but it took a little while, questioning what he was doing. He handed his phone back.

“Perfect! I’ll see you tomorrow, Sicheng!”

With one last smile, he took off towards his car. He watched him walk away and eventually started heading towards his bike.

Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

When he got to the house, his mother and her boyfriend were swinging on the porch swing.

“Sicheng! How was your first day!”

He paused before going inside. “Not too bad, I guess.” Wanting to avoid them as much as possible, he went inside and ran up to his room.

He sat on his bed and noticed a notification.

**@motoyuta followed you back!**

Sicheng couldn’t help but grin. He opened the app and quickly checked his one DM, which was Jaehyun, but recognized another DM conversation, that he sent. It was to Yuta’s account. He furrowed his eyebrows and tapped on it.

**here’s my phone number too if you want! (xxx-xxx-xxxx) - from yuta（≧∇≦)**

So that’s what Yuta was typing earlier. He saved his number and laughed. He didn’t know if this was real or not. It just couldn’t be. A perfect boy giving him his number.

He went back on the app, now lying on his bed, tapping on Yuta’s account. That boy had a nice skinny ratio with a good amount of followers—he wondered why he even followed Sicheng back.

4329 followers  
281 following

Sicheng’s follower count to his was just embarrassing in comparison. He only had around 250. He shook it off. Followers don’t matter anyway.

He scrolled down to Yuta’s account, looking through his photos. It was mostly just selcas, pictures of him and his (many) friends, or some picture soccer related. He also had a few dance videos. Of course, he watched them.

And holy shit, was he good.

Sicheng occasionally posts dancing videos—in fact that’s what a majority of his posts were. He doesn’t think he’s that bad, but a nervous feeling comes to his stomach at the thought of Yuta watching them.

Not like Yuta would look through his account, anyway.

“I watched your dance videos on your Instagram yesterday.”

That was the first topic of discussion Yuta brought up after they exchanged hellos.

They were standing on the top of the slide, waiting for the park to open in a few minutes. Sicheng started to feel uneasy. He actually watched his dance videos.

“Oh, um—“

“You are really good! And damn, are you flexible!” Yuta exclaimed with his award winning smile.

The boy never gave him a chance to talk. “Like... I’ve met dancers. But none of them could ever do those cool flips you were doing. How does your spine not break? My back hurt just from watching it!”

Sicheng let out a small laugh.” You’re being dramatic.”

“What, do you not think your good?”

There was a sudden silence, and it was one Sicheng did not like. He looked at Yuta, and he looked genuinely curious.

“I think I’m okay...”

“Well, I think you’re good.” he immediately replied; his smile was back.

“You do that a lot,” Sicheng randomly blurted out.

“Do what?”

“Smile.”

Yuta’s wide smile, which showed his perfectly aligned white teeth, dropped into a pursed smile. He replied a moment later. “It’s good to smile. Not just for yourself but also the people around you.”

Sicheng didn’t reply after that. Yuta checked the time on his watch and randomly spoke. “How much time do you think you can make it up those stairs?”

“What?”

Yuta mischievously grinned and sat on the top of the slide.

“Come here.”

His tilted his head in confusion as he slowly made his way towards Yuta. The blonde boy grabbed his waste, pulling him on his lap. “Hang tight!”

Yuta pushed off and gravity did the rest of the work.

“Yuta, are you crazy?! This slide is meant for one person!” Sicheng yelled, his voice echoing through the plastic tubes.

Yuta didn’t reply and instead screamed of excitement, followed by loud laughter. Sicheng gave in and laughed after the boy, feeling Yuta’s arms wrapped securely around his waist. Sicheng put his hands on top Yuta’s, holding them tight, and enjoyed the rest of the ride.

“You never really told us about your work, honey. How is it at the park?”

After his shifts ended, he made it home to a warm dinner. He was starving. Who knew standing around all day could be so exhausting?

“It’s good.”

His mom sighed. “You gotta give us more than that. Are the people there nice?”

“Yeah,” he took a big bite of his food, not bothering to look at anyone. “Especially Yuta.”

“Who’s Yuta?”

“A co-worker.”

“What’s he like? Is he your age?”

“Mom, you’re interrogating me again,” he swallowed his food. “And I don’t know his age.”

“You should invite him over for dinner sometime,” his mom proposed.

“Oh, hell no. Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“Language, Sicheng. Please.” That comment was from Yeonkuk.

Sicheng crossed his arms and sat back in the chair, lazying his posture. “They’re in high school, Yeonkuk. They hear shit like that all the time.”

The two children muffled a laugh and Sicheng smiled at them.

_I think I just got on their good side._

“He’s not wrong..." Seunghoon muttered, looking at his dad. Neither of the adults looked pleased.

The next day at the waterpark was a bit slow; Sicheng believed the reason was because he only worked with Yuta on one shift instead of three. One shift he was by himself, and the other was with another co-worker. He didn’t mind her, though. She was just as talkative as Yuta.

It was the last shift, the one he was with Yuta on, and a girl came up the stairs—one that seemed to recognize a certain somebody.

“Well, if it isn’t the one and only Nakamoto Yuta,” the girl said, eyeing the blonde haired boy. He returned her a smile.

“Hey, Eunjin.” The girl went in for a hug and Yuta hugged her back. “You’re acting like you don’t see me every week.”

She had beautiful, long hair, dyed to a warm red color. She was fairly tall, and her bikini exposed her perfect body proportions.

“Am I not allowed to be excited about your presence?” she inquired playfully and Yuta was still smiling. Sicheng noticed the line, and kept queuing his kids while still discreetly paying attention to their conversation.

“Ooh, who’s your cute friend?” was her next question, putting her attention on Sicheng. He looked at her with wide-eyes.

“This is Sicheng. He started working here two days ago.”

“Awe, he’s cute. You have a girlfriend, Sicheng?”

He shook his head.

“Oh my god, really? I’m sure you’ll find one soon.”

“Um, thanks.” He felt awkward. Noticing the kid on the slide waiting, he told him to go.

Yuta spoke, “Eunjin, you’re holding up the line.” How does his voice always sound so playful? Sicheng would be interested to see Yuta be mean, just for a minute. He thinks it’s not possible.

“Alright, alright, I’ll leave. Gotta meet my friends down there anyway.” She ruffled Yuta’s hair, making it look like he had just woken up. “I’ll see you soon.”

She hopped on the slide and went. Feeling a sense of discomfort, Sicheng didn’t bother to look at Yuta.

He heard his voice. “Isn’t she pretty?”

He nodded, giving the next kid a cue.

“That’s my ex. We had such busy schedules for a while that we needed to break up. Now she comes to my soccer games with her friend and cheers me on. She’s pretty fucking cool.”

He nodded again.

“You’ve seriously never had a girlfriend?”

“I get it, I’m pathetic,” he mumbled, still staring at the line rather than Yuta. His heart was getting faster with every beat and he didn’t know why. He rubbed his cheek with his hand; a mannerism he does whenever he gets nervous.

“You’re not pathetic,” Yuta assured. “Isaac Newton didn’t have a girlfriend either. Did you know that man died a virgin?”

Sicheng muffled a laugh and finally looked at Yuta. “So?”

“So…” he emphasized. “He was one of the most intelligent people ever and still dated no one. You just gotta wait for the right person.”

“Are you saying I’m gonna die alone?”

Yuta chuckled. “No, Sicheng. You know what I mean.”

“Bad analogy,” Sicheng commented, and they both looked at each other with a grin.

He didn’t know where the confidence came from but he reached over to Yuta and fixed his messy hair. “Sorry, it looked like a birds nest.”

“Thanks,” he laughed again. Sicheng could get used to that laugh. It was pretty, just like him.

A bit after dinner, Sicheng was welcomed a text.

**Yuta: hey! i have a question for you!! o(≧v≦)o**

**Sicheng: i have an answer. hopefully lol**

**Yuta: my friends are having a bonfire party tonight. wanna come?******

** **** **

** **** **

**Yuta: there won’t be too many people there, if that makes u feel uneasy**

**Yuta: o(∩_∩)o**

Sicheng read the texts over at least three times, still stumped on an answer. He doesn’t usually get asked to these types of social events. Are they actually that fun?

_Common, Sicheng. Wanna be pathetic for the rest of your life?_

**Sicheng: okay! i will go**

**Yuta: yay!! i’ll pick u up at 8?**

**Sicheng: yeah sounds great :)**

All of this made Sicheng feel uneasy. A cute boy asking him to go hangout with him and his friends? There’s gotta be a catch.

He suddenly heard the front door open and turned his phone off, adjusting his lazy posture from sitting on the porch swing.

“Hey, bud.”

It was Yeonkuk.

Sicheng gave him a polite smile. He closed the door behind him and sat next to Sicheng on the swing. He looked down at his hands.

“One through ten, what would you rate yourself?”

He furrowed his eyebrows, gazing up to the man. “What?”

“Pick a number. One through ten. What do you think you are?”

Sicheng hesitated. “Um… I don’t know.”

Yeonkuk looked right back at him, which made him stare down at his hands again.

“Just throw out a number. Any number.”

Having many questions about this, and not bothering to ask, he gave in. “Uh, six. Yeah, a six, I guess.”

“Well, I think you’re a three.”

Sicheng’s heart dropped.

“Can you guess why a three? Do you know why I picked that number?”

His eyes landed on the house straight across, looking at nothing in particular about it. “No.”

“Well, I don't think you’re putting yourself out there, buddy. Your mom mentions you a lot and your life at college. Says you don’t have any friends. Never had a girlfriend. Never go anywhere. Is that all true?”

No response.

He continued. “Is that a fair assessment? Are you just happy not doing anything? Because that seems like a “three” to me.”

He didn’t respond again. Of course he didn’t respond. How would you respond to that?

The door suddenly opened again, this time revealing his mom. “Yeonkuk, honey, will you help me with the dishes?”

Yeonkuk looked at Sicheng and patted his leg. “Of course, darling. Just having a friendly talk with Sicheng.”

He got up and went inside, following after his mother.

Sicheng put his attention back on the house across from him, feeling a sudden sense of panic. Moments like these, he wished he had someone to hug, even if he isn’t a very touchy person. His hands that were slowly beginning to tremble were found at his sides, grabbing the bottom of the swing. Instead, he hugs himself, rubbing his arms, like he was in need of some kind of reassurance.

This is not how he wanted his summer to go. Not at all.

Snapping him out of his thoughts, an old, dark blue pickup truck pulled into the driveway. The car came to a halt and a familiar figure stepped outside of the door, sporting the brightest smile.

“Sicheng!”

Sicheng stood up and began walking towards the truck. Yuta ran to him and gave him a hug. It felt way too short.

“Hey.”

Yuta gleamed. “Is this your house? It’s very pretty.”

“Um,” he looked back at the house and the panic feeling rushed through him again—afraid of Yeonkuk coming out. “I’ll tell you during the ride.”

The radio was playing some soft rock, probably from the 90s, setting a calm atmosphere. 

“So it’s your mom’s boyfriend’s house? That must be kinda weird for you.”

“It is,” Sicheng breathed out. “It feels strange.”

“It’s weird seeing your own mother with somebody else than the person you grew up with. It’s almost like… you want to protect your mom even though there’s nothing to protect her from.”

“Have your..?” Sicheng was too afraid to finish asking his question.

“Yeah. My parents divorced. I was eight, and my mom found someone new a few years later. But then they broke up and she’s been alone ever since. Well… not completely alone--she’s had me, at least.”

Sicheng hummed, staring out the window into the town’s pretty scenery. “Your mom’s lucky. To have a son like you.”

“You think?”

He nodded, “Yeah.”

It wasn’t too much longer until Yuta pulled onto the side of a street next to a house with several other cars parked along the streets. Yuta got out of the car and Sicheng followed.

“I hope my friends aren’t too much for you,” Yuta said as they made their way to the yard. “They can be a handful sometimes.”

Yuta led Sicheng from the side of the house to the backyard. A decent sized bonfire came into view right in the middle of the yard, and about 15 people were present. Fairy lights were hung on the back deck and a speaker was playing standard pop music.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Yuta announced, turning all heads their way.

“Yuta!!” at least three people said in unison. There were some other cheers acknowledging his presence. He continued walking and Sicheng followed loosely behind at a distance.

“This is your new co-worker, right?” one of the girls said and Yuta nodded.

He eventually made his way to Yuta’s side. “Yeah, this is Sicheng.”

“Hey, I’ve met you!” another girl said and Sicheng spotted the person. It was Yuta’s ex he met at the water park. “You guys want anything to drink?”

Sicheng guessed this was her house. Yuta spoke up. “Well, how could I say no to that?”

“I’ll be right back,” she made her way inside the building and Yuta turned to Sicheng.

One of the guys started talking about college and more joined in the conversation. He felt like a little puppy, just sticking by Yuta’s side without saying a word. The girl later came back with two solo cups, handing them to both of the boys, followed by a thank you.

They both took a sip and Sicheng wasn’t even sure what it was, in fact, it kind of tasted like shit, but looking at Yuta’s smile made the bitter taste suddenly sweet.

About an hour passed, filled with random conversations (that Yuta kept trying to get him to participate in), some weird dares, and poor dancing. Sicheng felt slightly lightheaded, feeling the alcohol in his system. When Yuta went to use the bathroom, meaning the little puppy lost his owner, he made his way to one of the outside chairs, pulling his legs up and hugging them, resting his head on his knees. He suddenly felt somebody’s presence sit in the chair beside him.

“You having fun?”

He turned his head to find Yuta.

_He looks so beautiful._

Sicheng nodded. “Yeah. I’m glad you invited me.”

“Oh, good,” Yuta grinned, staring right into Sicheng’s eyes. There was a silence.

“Yuta, can I ask you a weird question?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“If you had to rate me, one through ten, what would you say?”

Yuta paused. “Just one through ten? I’d rate you an eleven, but since you only said one through ten, I’d give you a ten.”

Sicheng nodded, not giving off any expressional response. “Thank you.”

His voice was at such a whisper that he didn’t know if Yuta could even hear him.

“Sicheng, is anything wrong?”

Staring down at the dried out grass, Sicheng shook his head. “No… just… just curious.”

“Okay,” Yuta responded. “If anything’s wrong, you can always tell me. I know we’ve only known each other for three days but… since you don’t know a lot of people in this town, I’m always an option.”

Yuta really was perfect.

One of his friends yelled Yuta’s name and signaled him to come his way.

“You coming?”

Sicheng shook his head. “I’m gonna stay here for a few minutes. My head hurts.”

“Alright, join us when you feel.” He bounced back on his feet and ran to his friends.

He should be having fun. Hanging out with all these people, hanging out with the cute boy who invited him here.

Sicheng definitely didn’t feel like a ten right now.

About three weeks passed, and Sicheng did his best to avoid Yeonkuk whenever he could. He got switched shifts at work a lot, luckily spending a good 60% of them with Yuta. He also liked the shifts by himself; he felt a sense of peace… but he would much rather be by Yuta’s side.

Sicheng won’t lie to himself—he’s aware of his growing feelings for the blonde boy. He doesn’t get that bubbly feeling inside his stomach around anyone else but Yuta. He knows it’s just a stupid, little crush.

He doesn’t commonly develop crushes—and when he does, they usually go away within a few weeks. He convinces himself it’s going to be the same with Yuta. Because he knows none of the guys he likes will ever share the same mutual feelings, so he doesn’t even put in an ounce of effort to progress these silly crushes into something more.

Of course, Yuta is different from all the other guys he’s developed feelings for. Yuta actually pays attention to Sicheng. But Yuta pays attention to everyone. And Yuta’s had a girlfriend. For these reasons, his hope lowers even more.

He’s not completely devastated by it, though. He’s felt a lot of attention on him recently, and he’s loving every bit of it. His co-workers adore him—think he’s the cutest being to be birthed on this planet—and he likes this new feeling.

He was invited to more events and outings, not just by Yuta, but by some of his co-workers as well. He denies half of them, when he feels like he would be nothing but an annoyance, but when he feels any slight bit of confidence he’ll go.

It’s late at night and Sicheng is sitting on a camping chair at a set-up table in the front yard. Nobody accompanies him but his phone and his paper cup full of pepsi.

Yeonkuk hosts a neighborhood party every summer, and Sicheng was forced to be present for it by his mother. It was filled with adults, mostly tipsy, and both Seunghoon and Chaewon were off at their friend’s house. Looking through Instagram didn’t help either, seeing that all of his followers were doing something way better with their lives than Sicheng.

He draws out a long sigh and gets out of his chair and begins walking towards the shack to find his bike. He wasn’t having any more of this. He just wanted a ride full of fresh air. He reached a few meters from the shack and walks around the side where he usually puts it but was startled by something else. It was a neighbor that Sicheng has seen visit the house a few times. Her and her husband stayed over for dinner or a drink a lot. But Yeonkuk was there too, kissing her—no—literally eating her face. Sicheng gasped and quickly covered his mouth, but luckily it was drowned out by the loud music playing.

He ran to the front of the yard and headed up to his room, throwing his weight on the bed. Sicheng never had anything against Yeonkuk to begin with, but ever since that one talk on the front of the porch, his opinion of the man has changed. But now… now he despises him.

He has to tell his mother about this. But he can’t. The smile on his mom’s face whenever he’s around him brings joy to Sicheng. His mom has been single for such a long time, deprived of love, and she finally found someone.

So he cries. He cries for about five minutes, then remembers what Yuta said to him the other week.

_“If anything’s wrong, you can always tell me.”_

He grabs his phone and warily taps on Yuta’s contact, later pressing call. He doesn’t pick up. Then he tries his next option.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Jaehyun.”

He talks to Jaehyun for half an hour and tells him everything. Everything from how he got here, his job and the waterpark, what he just witnessed. He even tells him about Yuta. And Jaehyun listens. He gives advice back, cooes Sicheng, and Sicheng couldn’t miss his former roommate anymore than he does now.

“Things will play out, alright Sichengie?” he says on the other line. “And as for Yuta… don’t give up on him so easily. Stop convincing yourself nobody likes you, Sicheng. You don’t realize how likeable you are. Now get some rest, it’s late.”

“Okay,” Sicheng replies. “Thank you, really. I mean it.”

“Of course. Feel free to always call me if you need anything else, okay?”

“Jaehyun?”

“Yeah?”

There’s a pause.

“I miss you.”

He received no response for a couple of seconds.

“I miss you too, Sicheng.”

“Hey, you wanna grab something to eat?”

Yuta and Sicheng were walking to the parking lot after a long day of work, like they normally do.

“Like right now?”

“Yeah, right now, silly,” Yuta laughs.

He could tell Yuta noticed something was off about Sicheng today. They had two shifts together, and Sicheng was too distracted by the events from yesterday that his responses to Yuta’s conversations were always dry. He wonders why Yuta still bothers to talk to him.

“Okay,” Sicheng replied. “Where will we go?”

They reach Yuta’s car and Yuta opens the passenger seat.

“Wow, a gentlemen,” Sicheng comments with a laugh and Yuta giggled.

“I know of this really good sandwich place,” he said while circling around the car to get in the driver's seat. “If you’re up for that, that is.”

“I’m always up for food,” Sicheng responded and Yuta nodded.

“I thought so.”

The sandwich place ended up being about seven minutes away, though he wished it was longer. The radio was blasting pop music Sicheng didn’t really like, but nothing amused him more than Yuta loudly singing the lyrics while aggressively nodding his head. He felt all his worries instantly go away.

They got out of the car and walked in the small restaurant, sitting themselves down at a table. They ordered their sandwiches and that feeling of giddiness wouldn’t escape Sicheng’s stomach. He forgot about Yeonkuk, forgot about his mother, and forgot about everything else that he constantly worries about. Because that’s what he’s best at—worrying. His mind could only focus on Yuta right now. And not to mention, the sandwich was delicious.

“You got anywhere to be after this?”

Sicheng shook his head.

“Well, this town has a lot of hidden treasures. Would you like me to show you one?”

“Whoa, like… actual treasure?”

Yuta laughed. “No, no. Just… you’ll see.”

They got back in the car and this time the ride was a few minutes longer. Sicheng sang along with Yuta to the only song he recognized, and he felt on top of the world. For a minute he felt like he was Charlie and Yuta was Sam, except they weren’t riding through a tunnel and Heroes by David Bowie wasn’t playing. The dark blue pickup truck part was right though. They eventually reached their destination that Sicheng didn’t expect .

“You took me to the beach?”

“Yeah, but… there’s more to it.”

Sicheng followed Yuta as he walked past the loads on people sitting and running on the hot sand, which led them to a whole bunch of weeds. Yuta grabbed Sicheng’s wrist and pulled him through a path where the weeds have been flattened. It led them to into a path of rocks of every size, leading from small pebbles to huge boulders. Yuta’s grip tightened on his wrist and he began to step over the rocks, leading him to the biggest boulders. They sat down on a flat-surfaced one, bringing Sicheng down with him.

“Ta-da! What do you think?”

Excitement flowed within Yuta’s voice and Sicheng looked out onto the beautiful ocean; the waves finding their own symphony. They crawled and crashed into a few rocks ahead of them, creating a beautiful scene that Bob Ross would be thrilled to paint.

“It’s so pretty,” Sicheng answered truthfully. “Did you discover this place by yourself?”

Yuta shook his head and looked out onto the horizon. “No. Eunjin showed it to me when we first started dating.”

He knows it shouldn’t, but Sicheng’s whole mood changed as soon as he said that.

“Oh… that’s cool.”

“I don’t like her still, if that’s what your thinking,” Yuta didn’t hesitate to say. “I’m just grateful that we never got on bad terms. So going to places like these… it doesn’t bring me bad memories.”

Instead of a verbal response, Sicheng just nodded in understanding. He didn’t know if it was just his imaginative mind or if it was a mistake but he swore he saw Yuta staring at him the corner of his eye. Not even knowing if it was true, his face turned a light shade of pink.

“You’ve seriously never had a girlfriend?”

His attention on the waves was brought to Yuta’s eyes. “Didn’t we already talk about this?”

“Yeah, but,” he let out a laugh. “You’re just too cute not to love.”

His eyes went back to the water and he tried to contain the smile forming on his lips. “I appreciate your enthusiasm. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I smell weird.”

“I promise you, you don’t smell weird.”

The dark haired boy’s smile broke out. “That’s relieving.”

Both were silent after that. They both took in the beauty of the water and simply enjoyed each other’s presence. Sicheng loved every second of it.

But silence doesn’t last too long with Yuta so he spoke again. “Today at work, you seemed a bit off. Did something happen?”

“Well,” he thought might as well tell him. He was going to anyway. “I saw my mom’s boyfriend making out with somebody else yesterday. Kind of disturbing, to say the least.”

“That’s… awful, oh my god.”

“A bit,” he laughed. He wasn’t it sure if it was the fact he was still in disbelief or the atmosphere Yuta has created to make him sound so nonchalant about the whole thing.

“But he makes my mom happy. So I still have yet to tell her.”

The two sat there for another hour, just talking about stuff. Sicheng told her more about the whole story, and how he wishes his summer wasn’t spent stuck at that man’s house. He talked about university, and so did Yuta. Yuta talked about soccer, which brought them to the topic of dancing. He wished for this moment to never end.

Sicheng felt like a seven right now.

They finally left the beach and Yuta pulled onto the street of Yeonkuk’s house.

“Thanks for coming along,” Yuta said before Sicheng had the chance to get out of the car.

“Thank you for inviting me, “ Sicheng replied genuinely. He really did appreciate it--a lot more that Yuta probably realizes.

“Sicheng?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s the real reason you’ve never had a girlfriend?”

Sicheng was lost by his question. “What?”

Instead of responding, Yuta took his hand and brought it to the back of Sicheng’s neck with a gentle yet firm grip, pulling him closer until his lips crashed onto the blonde’s. Shock raced through Sicheng’s body until he eventually realized what Yuta had just done and relaxed into the kiss. He began to follow the movement of Yuta, returning the kiss. Every movement from Yuta had Sicheng wanting more. Sicheng placed his hand on Yuta’s shoulder and Yuta lightly grabbed Sicheng’s wrist. He applied more pressure to the kiss, making Sicheng inhale. He smells the freshness of his body wash--not sure if it was vanilla or lavender or ocean mist--but whatever it was, it smelled great. He could smell the recently applied sunscreen, and it enthralled him… because he just smelled like… Yuta. Despite the nerves rushing through his stomach, Sicheng felt a wave of confidence and returned the pressure Yuta had given. He was entranced… captivated… But it ended sooner than he hoped. Yuta pulled back.

When his eyes met the others, he saw the boy smiling. Sicheng felt like he suddenly needed sunglasses.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Sicheng, still wonderstruck, gazed into Yuta’s eyes and nodded, “Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

He hopped out of the truck and gave Yuta one last look before closing the door.

Sicheng ran in the house, trying not to squeal like a little fan girl. He couldn’t control the smile he formed, already missing the absence of the other on his lips. When he got inside, he was greeted by the four sitting at the dinner table. All heads turned his way.

“So you’ve decided to join us,” his mother was the first to speak. “You didn’t answer any of my calls or texts.”

“Oh, um,” he looked at all the faces sheepishly. “A co-worker invited me to go somewhere. I must of had my phone on silent.”

“Just a co-worker?”

That comment was from Yeonkuk. He knows something.

“Uh, yeah?” Sicheng answered but it turned into a question.

“Well, I’m glad you’re making friends.”

Sicheng coughed awkwardly, feeling the tension in the air. “I already ate so…”

He pointed to the stairs and gave them all one last look until eventually running up them, making his way to the bed. He had no idea what just happened, but he didn’t like it.

But he brushed it off, because he just spent his afternoon with a cute boy, followed by a kiss, and he gets to see that exact same boy tomorrow.

When Sicheng arrived at work the next day, he didn’t see Yuta there, feeling all the excitement he gathered from last night and this morning suddenly vanish. He asked his other co-workers and they didn’t know either, so on his lunch break he decided to text him.

**Sicheng: hey, ur not at work today :( everything alright? we all miss u! **

He worked through this last shift, and his phone was burning in his pocket the entire time. He just wanted to see if Yuta replied. He made it to his bike and checked his phone.

_Read 1:47 A.M._

His eyebrows furrowed. Yuta wouldn’t just ignore him. It’s Yuta. Yuta isn’t the type to ignore people. Especially after what happened yesterday. He tried to dismiss the thought of him being disregarded because he knew he probably just forgot to reply or something busy came up.

When he got home, he ran up to his room like he normally does, because ignoring everyone in the house is what brought him the most bliss. But of course this bliss didn’t last long when he heard a knock.

“Come in.”

The door slowly opened and to his surprise, it was Chaewon.

“Hey, um. Can I talk to you?”

Confused, but more curious, Sicheng nodded. She closed the door beside her and sat on the bed, leaving about a foot of space in between her and Sicheng.

“I came here to say sorry.”

He frowned, puzzled by the sudden apology. “For what? You didn’t do anything.”

Chaewon sighed and looked down at the floor, hesitating a moment before continuing. “At dinner yesterday, dad asked me to go grab him a beer from the cooler on the front porch. And while I was out there I saw the blue truck at the side of the street with you in it.”

Sicheng cut straight to the point. “So you saw us kissing.”

She nodded. Sicheng brought his hand to the top of her head and lightly ruffled her hair. “You don’t have to apologize for that. I don’t care. Just don’t tell anybody, okay?”

“Um, I think it’s too late for that,” she sheepishly said, eyes never leaving the floor. Sicheng slowly drew his hands back to the bed.

“Chaewon… Who’d you tell?”

More hesitation.

“I grabbed the drink and ran inside, and I was shocked because like… I don’t know, it was weird seeing you kiss someone when you’ve only been here for a few weeks. And.. and I don’t usually see boys kiss other boys. It was just… unexpected, I guess. And so my dad asked what was with my facial expression and without thinking, I told them that I saw you kissing somebody.”

Sicheng took a few seconds to process it all but simply replied, “Okay.”

She looked up at Sicheng. “Just okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah, maybe your father won’t think I’m so pathetic anymore.”

“I told them it was a boy.”

Sicheng’s heart dropped. “Oh.”

More awkward silence rushed over them. They could tell how uncomfortable they both were and they both could tell they both hated it.

“I didn’t mean to, it just slipped out. I’m sorry.”

Even though the apology was short, Sicheng could tell the girl meant it.

“It’s… it’s fine. It was just a mishap, okay? I’m an adult, I can deal with them if they have a problem with it.”

Chaewon got up and faced Sicheng, lending out her hand. “We good?”

Sicheng shook it. “We good.”

She left the room and Sicheng lied down on his stomach, stuffing his face into a pillow. He tried not to scream, and luckily he succeeded. He couldn’t hate Chaewon, but he sure felt a grudge being held against her at the moment. For the msot part, Sicheng couldn’t really care what Yeonkuk thought about Sicheng anyway, but the man still intimidated him and got to head at times. He was mostly worried about what his mom felt, because he cares about his mom’s opinion most.

He opened his phone and saw a text from Jaehyun. He hasn’t gotten a text from Jaehyun for more than half a year. The only way they texted was from Instagram about their dumb memes.

**Jaehyun: hey sichengie! i’m visiting my parents currently and apparently the city she lives in is only 30 minutes away from the town ur in. do you wanna meet up for dinner tonight?**

_Jaehyun, you’re my life savor._

He was not about to sit through a 20 minute meal with his mom and Yeonkuk.

**Sicheng: omg really? pick a time and place and i’ll be there! :) **

They decided on a diner that met about halfway in between their two locations. Sicheng took his mom’s car without asking; she’d shoot him a text if she ever noticed.

Jaehyun got there before Sicheng, even though Sicheng was a few minutes early. Jaehyun had worn a maroon leather jacket with a basic t-shirt, and extremely tight jeans wrapped around his perfectly proportionate body. He always upped everyone when it came to appearance.

Jaehyun told him what’s been going on in his life. Apparently him and his new dorm mate, Taeyong, started dating. He talked a bit about their relationship, and it made Sicheng happy to hear that he was happy. He talked about how his culinary major is going well, and how he got a better job at a higher restaurant. Sicheng talked about his dance major, and how he’s recently felt uninspired to dance ever since the summer started. And how he wanted to get a job at the dance studio but got stuck at this place instead. Of course, he wasn’t completely bothered. He told Jaehyun how happy being at the water park made him. It felt nice to just be able to talk to somebody.

Of course he had Yuta, but Sicheng never mentioned anything too personal about his life because he wasn’t one to open up to people quickly.

“If Yeonkuk gives you a hard time again,” Jaehyun started. “Ignore it. Never take criticism from people you wouldn’t take advice from.”

He wondered how Jaehyun was always such a good listener. He couldn’t be any more thankful for his friend.

“Can I tell you something, Jae?”

“Of course.”

Sicheng felt stumped, not really sure how to formulate his sentence. “I know you know I don’t really have friends. Sometimes I think you’re only nice to me because you just feel bad but… I can tell you actually don’t mind being around me and…”

He continued. “I don’t know. I just-I know I may not be a big part in your life but I want you to know that you are in mine. I don’t have very many people. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, I wish I was a better friend.”

Jaehyun gave him a hopeful smile. “I hope you don’t think of yourself any less just because you don’t have many friends. I know it’s hard. Talking to people isn’t exactly a walk in the park. But keep in mind, you’re one of the strongest, bravest, coolest people I’ve ever met, you got that, Sichengie? I hope you soon realize that you’re too likeable to actually get annoyed at. Next time you talk to someone, remember that.”

Jaehyun walked to the other side of the booth and sat next to him, letting Sicheng rest his head on his shoulder. “You do matter to me, Sicheng. Best friend?”

Sicheng smiled weakly. “Best friend.”

Yuta had been at work the next day, and when he saw Sicheng (which was on the second shift) Yuta was acting slightly off to Sicheng. Just slightly; and Sicheng couldn’t spot what it was. He didn’t mention anything about what happened in the car. He didn’t mention anything about two days ago.

The air felt awkward.

“Yuta?”

They were both on lifeguard duty for the lazy river, and Sicheng found it weird that Yuta was putting a bit of distance them when he’s usually super close and tight. Yuta’s the one that finds comfort through touch; Sicheng learned that very quickly.

He looked Sicheng’s way. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“I sent you a text and you never replied. Did you see it? Just curious, it’s okay if you didn’t want to text back. I know, like, it’s so annoying when people say that you should always text back but it’s definitely not a priority, like, if you just don’t feel like it then I totally understand. You actually don’t have to even tell me your reasoni—“

“Sicheng,” Yuta said with a soft laugh. “I was visiting my brother’s house and right as I was about to reply more people showed up. I forgot to reply. I didn’t mean to ignore you, I’m sorry.”

Sicheng nodded. Of course, Yuta wouldn’t ignore him. It’s Yuta.

But something in him itched when he remembered Yuta telling him about his family a few weeks ago and how all of them lived back in Japan.

Maybe he forgot to mention his brother living here. Or maybe Sicheng heard him wrong.

Or maybe he was lying.

Of course, Sicheng jumped to that conclusion. But he tried to convince himself otherwise.

Work finally came to an end and Sicheng couldn’t be any more thankful. Yuta kept a distance from Sicheng the whole day, even at lunch, and he also didn’t walk him out to the parking lot like they do everyday.

To say he was hurt would be the least, but like every other worry in his life, he did his best to ignore it.

The day dragged on and all Sicheng wanted to do was take a nice bath and maybe nap for a few hours. When he got home and took one step on the stairs, he was stopped by a voice.

“Sicheng, come here.”

It was completely in Mandarin, so he knew Yeonkuk wasn’t around. He peeked his head into the kitchen to find his mom sitting near the table with a magazine in hand and hot steaming tea in front of her.

“Sit.”

He took the seat across from her and she put her magazine down.

“Why do you always hide from me? You’re my son, Sicheng.”

Not really sure what to respond with, he stayed quiet.

“You never tell me anything. You always just respond with “nothing” after I asked you what you’ve been up to lately. Our phone conversations when you’re in college are always so short. You always hide in your room whenever you’re around us. You never speak when somebody asks a question about you. This has been going on for years, Sicheng! Years! I feel like I don’t even know who my own son is.”

Shocked by his mother’s watery eyes and firm tone, he wondered what it was that made her want to suddenly have this conversation.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sicheng tilted his head. “What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“That you liked boys, Sicheng.”

Sicheng was still mute, and couldn’t form his words when he saw tears running down his mother’s cheeks. He was never good at comforting people, but he was never stuck in a situation where he had to comfort somebody for something that he caused.

“I thought you would hate me,” he whispered, refusing to look at his mom. His gaze fell onto the ugly green mug instead.

“I could never hate you, Sicheng. I just hate how you don’t tell me things. I hate it. I really hate it.”

Now she was sniffling, and wiping the continuous tears away. It hurt to see his mom like this. She rarely ever cried, always trying to keep a strong facade for her son. So seeing her cry made Sicheng feel the worst regret he’s felt for a long time.

“I just want you to be happy. To tell me things. So I can know what makes you happy. But you never seem happy. I feel like I failed as a parent. Are you happy, Sicheng? Be honest with me.”

He looked back up to his mom, overwhelmed with a dozen emotions. He felt the sudden tears on his cheeks, too. His mom always had that effect on him.

“Of course I’m happy, mom.”

She took Sicheng’s hands in her own. “Then why don’t I ever see it?”

They were both beginning to be a crying mess at this point, and Sicheng wasn’t really sure what exactly he was crying about. Maybe it was because his mom was crying. Or maybe it was because she discovered one of his biggest secrets. Maybe it was because he was starting to feel regret. Or maybe it was because he knows his mom knows he was lying. Maybe it was a mix of it all.

“I’m sorry, mom,” he said. “I’m really sorry.”

“What can I do to make you happy, baby?”

Sicheng wiped away the tears stained on his cheeks and answered sincerely. “You’ve done more than enough, mom. It’s my own fault I’m like this.”

His voice was shaky, even more than his mom’s.

Although his back was facing the stairs, he could feel someone’s presence. It didn’t matter who it was, but it made Sicheng embarrassed to be seen like this. He knew they don’t understand what they’re saying, but it made him cringe nonetheless.

He walked to the other side of the table and sat in the seat next to his mom, giving her a hug. He glanced up to the stairs, seeing Chaewon guiltily looking at them. Sicheng weakly smiled at her and she still had the face of pity, quickly running back up into the hallway.

It was the first time he actually was dreading to go to work. He wanted to see Yuta, but felt like Yuta didn’t want to see him. When he walked inside the park and to the staff room to put his stuff down, Yuta was the only one present, changing out of his tennis shoes and into his flip flops. When he saw Sicheng, a smile instantly lit up his face.

“Sichengie!”

Confused by the sudden attention that he received a lack of yesterday, Sicheng put his bag down. Yuta finished putting on his shoes and ran up to the brown haired boy, pulling him into a hug.

“You look so cute,” Yuta pulled away and grinned, bringing his hand up to his ear, feeling the little point. He took Yuta’s hand away and covering his ear.

“Stop, it’s ugly.”

Yuta’s eyes slightly widened, looking at the boy in disbelief. “You think your ear is ugly? Sicheng, it’s literally the cutest thing. It makes you look like an elf.”

“That doesn’t flatter me,” Sicheng responded. He wasn’t usually this sassy, but he was still confused why Yuta’s attitude suddenly went back to normal and was embarrassed by his ear—something he’s always hated about himself.

Yuta brought his hand up again and removed Sicheng’s own, cupping the side of his face. “Okay, then it makes you look like a fairy. And I’m glad you’re here because I wanted to apologize about yesterday. I had a lot of things on my mind. I promise I wasn’t ignoring you. I could tell you weren’t happy about it.”

His cheeks turned rosy at the sudden touch. He concealed a smile he wanted to form.

“That’s okay. You don’t have to say sorry.”

Sicheng felt a weight fall off his shoulders. He genuinely thought Yuta’s behavior yesterday was because of him. They fell silent and Yuta never took his hand off of Sicheng’s face, beginning to slowly rub his cheek with his thumb.

Yuta’s wide smile returned, making Sicheng feel insecure. How could somebody just look like that? So perfect and beautiful. The blonde glanced up at the clock and Sicheng dod the same, noticing the park doesn’t open for another twenty minutes.

To his surprise, Yuta pulled Sicheng’s hand and dragged him into the staff bathroom, pinning him against the wall. He could feel Yuta’s hot breath on his face, anxious for what’s to come. He rested his head back on the wall and he looked into Yuta’s pretty eyes again.

_Oh, so pretty._

His hands were above his head, held by Yuta’s, and Sicheng has never felt so vulnerable. It wasn’t until a long few seconds later that he felt a pair of lips on his own, letting his mind take him into what felt like a fantasy.

They were both sweating and out of breath when they heard a knock on the door, making the both of them pull away.

“Yuta? Sicheng? Are any of you in there?”

It was their boss.

Sicheng panicked but Yuta spoke up, quick to save them, “Yeah, we are. My contacts got stuck and Sicheng’s helping me, we’ll be out in a minute.”

“Alright, just know that the park opens in five. Your assigned shifts are posted on the door, as always.”

He didn’t even know how fifteen minutes could pass by so quickly. He swore it felt like five. Yuta started to fix Sicheng’s hair that got tangled in the process, and Sicheng did the same. They laughed in unison.

“You’re a good actor,” Sicheng said and Yuta’s hands were back to cupping Sicheng’s face.

“It comes naturally,” he shrugged, followed by one last kiss. It was lazy, neither putting any effort to take it further. But it was enough.

“We should probably go,” Sicheng said in a whisper. Yuta nodded.

The day went by much faster than before, and Yuta actually sat by him at lunch and walked him out to the parking lot again.

Before they said their farewells, Yuta spoke up. “You know, you don’t really talk about yourself a lot.”

They reached Sicheng’s bike, and he started to switch the numbers in order to unlock it, “So I’ve been told.”

He undid the lock and put it in his backpack, along with the wire.

“You should tell me more about you. I wanna know.”

Sicheng put his attention on Yuta, glancing at his lips quickly, but immediately meeting his eyes. “I’m not that interesting.”

“Sicheng, I’ve known you for only what, a month now? And you’re literally one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met.”

“That’s an exaggeration.”

Yuta shook his head. “I’m being honest. Maybe what makes you so interesting is that you never talk about yourself. Everyone I meet is always so excited to tell me what they did last Saturday or their whole life story or what their pet’s names’ are. Do you even have a pet?”

“I mean, I kept a Betta in my dorm room until it died two months into the school year.”

Yuta giggled. “See, I didn’t even know that. Rest in peace, Sicheng’s fish.”

“His name was Mantou,” Sicheng added.

“Mantou?”

“It’s the Chinese word for a type of steamed bun.”

“You’re telling me... you named your fish after a type of bread…”

“You got a problem with that?”

Yuta stifled a laugh. “See! You are interesting! I can’t say everybody names their pet after bread.”

Sicheng smiled. “Okay. I will take that as a compliment.”

“Good.”

Another rush of silence.

“I’ll text you, k?”

Sicheng nodded and Yuta grinned, then left, making his way to his car.

He took his time riding back to the house, even taking a longer route, just because. He felt no rush to be anywhere. His mind was too distracted by a certain boy, and for a second, life felt like it was perfect.

When he got home, a smile still plastered to his face, he was welcomed by his mom who just came down the stairs.

“Where did that big old smile come from?”

His mom looked happy, and so did Sicheng.

“Yuta,” he simply answered, making his way to the stairs.

“Are you ever gonna tell me about that boy?”

He didn’t look back. “Maybe someday.”

Sicheng should tell her about Yeonkuk and what he saw. He really should. Each minute his mom spends with the man is toxic, and she doesn’t even know it.

Yet he still can’t bring himself to it. He knows a reason for it is because his mom would be devastated.

But he refuses to admit the other reason--the reason that’s stopping him most--is because he’d then have to leave the water park behind. And Yuta. He only has two more months until he leaves and he doesn’t want it to end. Not yet.

Just being there made him feel alive for the first time in his life. He was surrounded by people who love him and care about him.

He was finally starting to make friends.

It’s a selfish reason. Sicheng knows that.

Sicheng and Yuta were sitting on the rocks after work, and the weather couldn’t be any more perfect. It wasn’t blazing with heat, but it wasn’t too chilly for goosebumps.

“Tell me everything about you. Everything you wanna tell.”

Sicheng looked out onto the lake, his hair a bit messy from the slight breeze.

“Um. I don’t know.”

“Tell me about life back home.”

Sicheng paused. He’s never really talked about home before. It wasn’t like it was a sensitive topic or anything--it’s that nobody has ever asked about it.

“Well…” he began, feeling Yuta’s eyes on him, but not looking his way. “There’s not too much to know. I grew up with my mom and dad. But then my mom left to work out in the city for a while--about an hour away from where we lived. It was only about nine months but my dad fell in love with someone else. So they parted ways.”

He continued. “I had a few friends, I guess. I made friends when I joined dance at 6 years old, right after my dad left. But most of them left when I was 10, and I’ve never really been good at making friends since then. I feel like I just annoy everybody.”

He talked about the struggles of coming to Korea, and how the language barrier was the worst part.

“Do you know you have the cutest accent?”

Yuta has an accent himself, but it was barely noticeable. He had been here longer than Sicheng after all.

“I wish I didn’t. It’s embarrassing.”

“Sicheng, name one thing you like about yourself.”

“Uh… I don’t know.”

“You don’t like one single thing about yourself?”

“I mean… sure I do. I like uh...” He was stumped.

“Well, I like everything about you. I hope you know that.”

Yuta moved closer to Sicheng, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“I’m glad I met you,” Yuta said quietly.

Sicheng leaned his head in the crook of his neck and closed his eyes.

“Me too.”

Unlike Yuta, Sicheng never felt comfort through touch, but being next to Yuta was something he didn’t mind at all. Being next to Yuta, especially so close, didn’t make Sicheng feel necessarily safe.

It made him feel brave, and that is even better.

Weeks have passed, and Sicheng couldn’t be any happier. Outside of work, he spent most of his time with Yuta and his co-workers (mostly Yuta) and continued avoiding anyone at home. Sicheng wasn’t really sure what Yuta and him were, but it definitely wasn’t just friends. Unless it’s a norm to constantly make out with your friends, then yes--they were friends.

Sicheng found himself surrendering to bliss every day. Every moment he spent with Yuta made Sicheng forget how to breath. The first few times spent with Yuta, he had butterflies in his stomach; but now--now he has a whole zoo.

He found himself falling in love.

Yuta knew Sicheng didn’t like staying back at Yeonkuk’s house, so he invited him over to his apartment for dinner a lot. Sicheng couldn’t cook; he wasn’t even sure how to cut an onion. So whenever Sicheng felt helpless, he asked if Yuta needed help. Yuta always shook his head and said, _“Your presence is enough.”_

Sicheng would gain confidence and wrap his arms around Yuta’s waste whenever he was cutting or cooking something, which seemed to encourage Yuta. Even though Sicheng was a little taller than Yuta, he still always felt small next to the boy.

“Would you like to show you how to cut an onion?” Yuta asked one day. Sicheng agreed.

“So first you cut in half like this, right?” Sicheng has his head resting gently on Yuta’s shoulders as he watched the boy precisely from behind.

“Then you put it down like this and cut it across like this. But make sure to always leave part of the end uncut on so it doesn’t fall apart. Then you’re going to dice it the other way. Make sure the knife is always pointing away from you. Especially when you’re cutting the ends.”

Sicheng lost Yuta in his lesson about halfway through and was entirely distracted by the simple feeling of just being next to the boy. Yuta, Yuta, Yuta. The only thing on his mind.

“Did you know the reason onions make you cry is because they release a chemical that your eye glands are sensitive to? So if your eyes start to water the best thing to do is walk away for a minute instead of blinking or rubbing it because the chemicals are sticking to the surface of your eye. So it will only make it worse.”

Yeah, Sicheng definitely wasn’t listening.

Other days Yuta would take him places that surprised Sicheng. One day Yuta took him to the soccer field. They would kick a ball around back and forth to each other and just talk about life. Sicheng was starting to open up to Yuta more and more everyday. He trusts Yuta.

Yuta eventually picked up the ball and said, “Show me your favorite dance.”

And so he did. He played a song through the crappy speakers of his iPhone and danced away on the grass that tickled his ankles. Sicheng noticed Yuta staring intently with a big smile on his face. He clapped very loudly at the end.

Everyday Yuta was filled with surprises, and Sicheng couldn’t get enough of it.

When he went to work the next day and found Yuta acting a bit strange again, he felt his spirits go down. He had the same behavior as that one day after the night they first kissed.

This time he didn’t blame it on himself. He was positive he didn’t do anything wrong. They spent the day together yesterday, visiting Yuta’s favorite sandwich shop then going to the mall where they bought absolutely nothing besides food. It was a perfect day. So his behavior wasn’t Sicheng’s fault.

It’s not that Yuta was constantly ignoring him--he just didn’t talk as much to him. He wasn’t excited when he talked to him. He didn’t sit by him at lunch like he always does and didn’t walk him out to the parking lot like he always does. Maybe it was just an off day. Everybody has bad days--even if you’re a ball of sunshine like Nakamoto Yuta.

So Sicheng brushed it off but found the same behavior the next day. The air started to feel awkward again and when he asked Yuta if anything was wrong, he smiled and shook his head, followed shortly by ruffling Sicheng’s hair.

The week ended, and still the same treatment. Yuta hasn’t asked Sicheng to go anywhere with him for the past six days, and he hasn’t sent a single text or called once. He felt more distance between them each second, and Sicheng was starting to think that maybe it was his fault. He isn’t treating anybody else like this.

In the evening, Sicheng texted Yuta.

**Sicheng: you up for desert? i think the frozen yogurt place is having a sale today if i read the sign correctly ^^**

_Read 7:12_

__

__

Sicheng was definitely not feeling good about this.

After another few days of work, Sicheng found himself asking his boss why Yuta and him haven’t been assigned on the same shifts for the past few days. There have been a few days here and there where they have no shifts together but it was starting to become constant.

“He asked me to,” his boss simply said, and Sicheng felt his heartstrings snap.

He contained himself for the rest of the day, and when he got out of work, he rushed to the beach and into Yuta’s little hiding spot on the rocks and curled up in a ball, crying into his knees. He stayed like that for at least 30 minutes, until he felt as if he had no tears left.

He knew it. Happiness always ends. Sicheng knew he didn’t deserve Yuta in the first place. Yuta was perfect. Sicheng had many flaws. It was inevitable, or so he thought.

His nose was runny, his eyes were red, and his cheeks were stained with tears but he managed to pick up his phone with his shaky hands and tried to text Yuta again.

**Sicheng: are u mad at me?**

He let out a shaky sigh and looked at his wallpaper. It was a picture of him and Yuta at the same place he is now, and right after they took, Yuta stole Sicheng’s phone and set it as his wallpaper.

_“Now you’ll always see me, even if I’m not by your side.”_

He felt his eyes water again but took a deep breath and got up. He hopped on his bike and made his way back home.

When night came, he fell asleep, with no reply from Yuta.

“Oh my god, Sicheng! I was hoping I was gonna see you here!”

The next day, he was working a shift on a slide with a co-worker he luckily didn’t mind at all. He looked to see Eunjin and her two friends. Her voice was filled with genuine excitement, and it always confused Sicheng that her snobby and stuck up beautiful looks didn’t match her friendly personality at all. He could see why Yuta and her got along so well.

“You were?”

Luckily his co-worker was busy cueing the people. Her friends already went down the ride.

“Yeah, just to say hi. You’re just too cute,” she mushed, lightly squeezing his cheeks. They turned red.

“I was hoping to see you too, actually,” he said, nerves working up in his stomach.

“Really?”

Sicheng nodded. “Yeah. Can you talk sometime later?”

“Sure! Um, you busy after your shift? Park closes in about 30 minutes, right? I’ll wait for you.”

He gave his best convincing smile. “Okay. I’ll see you then.”

She smiled back and she went down the slide. He mentally laughs at the fact that he used to get jealous of this girl.

They ended up at a cozy boba place that Sicheng offered to pay for. She refused, but he insisted. They sat down and she spoke. “So why’d you want to talk to me? Not that I mind, I’m just curious.”

Sicheng’s got to know Eunjin pretty well from hanging out with Yuta and his friends; she was always there. But they never hung out just the two of them, so her question was legit.

“Yuta’s been ignoring me. And I don’t know why but I’m ninety nine percent sure it’s my fault because he isn’t ignoring everyone else.”

“Hmm… did anything happen between you too?”

“Um… well… I don’t think anything bad. I mean, stuff happened but like… Not bad stuff,” Sicheng stumbled over his words, not really knowing how to approach this.

“Yuta talks about you a lot, you know.”

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “He does?”

She nodded. “I think he likes you.”

“I thought he liked me too. But I guess I was wrong.”

“I can talk to him about it, if you want.”

He shook his head. “There’s no need. I leave soon anyway.”

There was about one month left until summer ended, and Sicheng was already thinking about putting in his two weeks notice. Work didn’t feel the same anymore. It was starting to feel more like a chore. He wondered how he got so close with Yuta in the span of almost two months, and how that all went away in less than two weeks.

She gave him a sympathetic look and Sicheng hated it. He hated pity.

“Well, whatever it is, I hope you don’t think of Yuta as a bad person. He’s helped me through a lot, and I’m sure he has his reasons. He always does.”

He wished that assured him, but he still felt like he was the cause of this mess.

When he got home, the first thing he did was pour himself a huge bowl of cereal. He didn’t eat lunch. He hasn’t been eating lunch lately. He was never in the mood anymore. He ate in silence, scrolling through Instagram. Yuta posted recently. It was a simple selfie, and he hesitantly hovered his thumb over the like button, then eventually didn’t tap it. It all just seemed funny to him.

“Sicheng, I want to talk to you.”

He looked up and saw Yeonkuk. He sat down in the chair across from him.

“Why, so you can rate me a number and tell me how pathetic I am?”

Yeonkuk ignored his comment. “I wanna talk about what happened.”

“Huh?”

“The thing that happened about a month ago. Your kiss with your little friend. Let’s talk about that.”

At this point, he was unbothered. Why should he care about what he thinks? The man who has given him nothing but grief and dirty looks throughout this whole trip.

“I don’t think there’s much to talk about,” he said with a mouth full of cereal, exerting his attention back to his phone.

“Chaewon told me it was a boy you kissed. What’s your justification behind that, Sicheng?”

He turned off his phone and set it down, looking at the man in disbelief. “My justification? My justification is that I don’t like girls. I literally don’t see what’s so hard to understand about that.”

“Boys aren’t supposed to like boys.”

“And girls aren’t supposed to like girls, blah, blah, blah,” Sicheng said mockingly, rolling his eyes. He was about done with him.

He sighed. “I’m not trying to be the bad guy here. I’m trying to save you from embarrassment.”

“You know what? Don’t even try. Yuta has made me feel happier than I’ve felt for god, who knows how long. It’s funny that you’re the one trying to tell me that the person I kissed is bad when you’re not so innocent yourself.”

Yeonkuk furrowed his thick brows. “What?” He really needed to get those plucked, Sicheng thought. It made him look like he had two caterpillars on his face.

He scoffed. “Oh, don’t act like you don’t know.”

“Oh, so now you think it’s okay to disrespect me? You talk like this to your mother?”

“No, because she doesn’t disrespect me!”

Sicheng was startled by how loud his voice became, and he was thankful nobody was in the house to hear it.

“You’ve been cheating on my mom, Yeonkuk! I saw it! I literally saw it! And you’re telling me I’m the one at fault?”

He stood up from his chair and grabbed his phone, leaving the man in shock. Slamming the door to his room, Sicheng felt more tears start to fall. He’s been doing that a lot lately. Crying. Maybe a little too much.

He facetimed Jaehyun, and luckily he answered. He told him everything that happened, and Jaehyun always knew exactly what to respond with. He told Sicheng that there’s more to the story that he doesn’t know, and Yuta wouldn’t just ignore him like that.

His advice somehow made Sicheng cry more, even though it made him feel better. He was a sobbing mess, but he wasn’t worried about that right now. Jaehyun understood.

He didn’t go to work the next day. He couldn’t bring himself to it. Yuta was constantly consuming his thoughts, and every second he saw the blonde haired boy, he just felt his heart shatter more and more.

Later that evening, he told his mom about Yeonkuk. They were alone in the house while Yeonkuk and the two kids were getting groceries.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

His mom was too in shock to even cry. Sicheng didn’t blame her.

This was the part where he felt the guilt spread over his body. He finally spoke. “For the first time, I was beginning to have everything I wanted. Right in front of me. And I was too selfish to let it all go so suddenly.”

“What do you mean?”

“The water park. Everyone there. I made new friends. I met Yuta. I’ve never had any of this. I wanted to tell you the day I saw it, but I realized how hurt you would be. And I realized how hurt I would be to let everything I was starting to gain just vanish.”

Sicheng was the first to start crying; his guilt has never felt this bad before. Of course he was crying again. Just the look on his mom’s face made him want to just start all over. To just tell her. To get away from everything.

“But I already lost it. It doesn’t matter now. What matters now is you. You have to get away from him, mom. I’m so sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”

At this point, his mom started to cry too.

“Don’t be sorry, honey. I’m just glad you’re finally beginning to be happy.”

He shook his head. His vision was blurry.

“I’m not. Yuta won’t speak to me and I don’t know why. I wanna leave, mom. Please, let’s leave. It’s not good for the both of us to stay here.”

His mom sniffled and nodded. “Okay, baby. We’ll leave tomorrow.”

The weak smile on her face broke Sicheng.

It was almost midnight, and Sicheng had a hard time trying to fall asleep. He stared at the glow in the dark stars on his wall for almost two hours, taking his mind into oblivion, but got distracted when his phone went off. Who could be texting him this late?

**Yuta: hey, u up?**

Sicheng rubbed his eyes and took a better look at the screen.

**Sicheng: no**

**Yuta: :/**

**Yuta: meet me in ur driveway in ten?**

Sicheng warrily typed his response. He craved to see Yuta, but was salty that he now wanted to talk to him.

**Sicheng: fine**

Ten long, dreadful minutes past, and Sicheng was sitting on his porch step. He wore his sweater one size too big for him and simple gray sweatpants. His eyes were red from trying to sleep and his hair was a mess from tossing in bed. Right now, he didn’t care how he looked. That was the last thing on his mind. Yuta’s truck pulled into the driveway and Sicheng stood up, crossing his arms. A familiar figure stepped out of the truck.

“Can we talk?”

Sicheng stood in his place. “I’m all ears.” There was a bit of agitation in his voice. He wanted to just run up to the boy and hug him so bad, but he hurt him so bad too.

“Somewhere that isn’t here.”

After 10 minutes of silence and awkward tension, Yuta reached his destination. It was an empty field.

When he parked in, Yuta was the first to speak. “This used to be a playground but a few years ago they took all the equipment down because it was too old. Never replaced it though, and I don’t know why.”

He got out of the car and Sicheng did the same. Yuta opened the tailgate and hopped on the edge of it, giving Sicheng a hand to join him. He took it, but then distanced himself a bit.

“I’m sorry.”

Sicheng looked out into the field. Aside from the headlights, the moon was the only source of light, but it illuminated the sky enough. He didn’t respond. Yuta sighed.

“I messed up.”

Sicheng rolled his eyes and crawled towards the back of the truck, resting his back on there. Yuta turned around to look at the taller boy and Sicheng avoided eye contact. He rubbed his face in his hands, obviously stressed, then joined Sicheng in the back.

“I guess I deserve that.”

Now their thighs were touching, and that’s half of what was on Sicheng’s mind. He wondered when Yuta started to have such a huge effect on him.

“After we kissed for the first time,” he began. “Well, more like when I kissed you... it left me with a lot more thoughts than I wanted to, and for a second I thought I was going crazy.”

“The day after,” Sicheng intervened, “You weren’t at work. And the next day you came back acting all weird. And you said you ignored my texts because you were visiting your brother’s house. But you also mentioned earlier that your family lives in Japan. Did you lie to me, Yuta?”

Yuta let out a shaky sigh, fumbling with his hands on his lap. It was rare to see Yuta look so… vulnerable.

“Yes, that was a lie. The real reason was that I wasn’t there was because I couldn't think straight. I contemplated all day on something, seeing you would just make it worse.”

“Yuta, you’re being vague.”

The blonde boy tensed up, and Sicheng could sense his frustration. “After we kissed, I knew I was catching feelings for you. And I knew you liked me too. The way you looked at me--not everybody looks at me like that--But… I don’t know. I was just so conflicted because I knew that you were just going to leave in two months… and if this relationship actually went somewhere I wouldn’t want us to be separated. I wouldn’t be able to handle that. So I thought about it and thought about it till my brain felt like it was literally going to rot, as to whether or not I should actually try to make this go somewhere. So I tried for just one day, tried to shut you out, but you’re so hard to resist and I just couldn’t help but keep falling for you more and more every single day...”

He continued. “And each day I would look at the calendar and countdown the days you have left and then it all hit me. That I’m just gonna hurt my feelings more if I keep getting closer to you and then you’ll just be gone.”

Sicheng was shocked at Yuta’s confession. He tried processing it all and understanding where the boy was coming from, but he could only focus on his childish behavior, “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I didn’t have the guts to tell you because I’m a coward and I’m stupid and I should have just told you the truth and--”

“So you thought ignoring me was the better option?”

Yuta’s mouth shut close; he was defeated.

“I’m sorry, Sicheng,” he told him, turning to face the boy. “I really like you. I really do. I shouldn’t have shut you out, I really don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I was just trying to forget all my feelings.”

Sicheng finally looked up at Yuta and saw his red eyes, tears slowly beginning to form. He’s never seen him cry--Yuta really did mean all that he said.

“I like you too,” Sicheng said back. “Even if you’re an idiot.”

That made Yuta let out a small laugh and Sicheng slightly smiled.

“You know, you may have caused me a lot of pain these last few weeks but I've also never met anyone who’s made me so happy,” Sicheng admitted.

“Then let me make it up to you,” Yuta said. “Let me make the rest of these three weeks but the best three weeks of your life. We’ll end this summer on a good note.” 

Seeing the hopeful look on Yuta’s face made Sicheng hesitate.

“I leave tomorrow.”

“What?”

“I leave tomorrow,” he repeated.

“I thought you said you leave at the end of the summer.”

He shook his head. “I told my mom about Yeonkuk cheating on her. We already packed all our stuff.”

That made Yuta stay silent, longer than Sicheng had liked, and each second that passed made him even more nervous. Yuta’s face was never hard to read. He’s always been very expressive. Sicheng could see the regret Yuta was feeling, and he didn’t like it. Every moment of silence somehow felt loud and obnoxious.

“Okay,” Yuta whispered, eyes back down at his lap. “It’s good she knows about it now.”

“My mom will be fine, Yuta,” Sicheng told him, even if he didn’t know the truth. He turned to Yuta and grabbed his hands, then brought himself to sit on his lap, knees on both sides of the boy. He brought Yuta’s hands to his fragile waist.

Reaching his own hands and resting them gently on his shoulders, he closed the space between them and softly kissed a tear on his cheek. He then trailed kisses to his jawline then to his nose, then to the corner of his mouth. Yuta fluttered his eyes shut and his grip on Sicheng’s waist tightened, inviting him to scoot even further. Their lips were now connected, moving in sync, and it felt more desperate than all their other kisses have ever felt. But it was filled with more love than all their others. More sincerity.

More heartache.

He knew that this was goodbye, and he knew that it wasn’t something to ignore, but the only thing that matters right now is that Yuta was still here in front of him--not halfway across the country--and all of it makes Sicheng feel alive.

University started again, and with it being two months into the year, schoolwork was being thrown on him from every single teacher. On top of that, he was working part time at a dance studio. He was going through his Blackboard discussions but got distracted when his phone went off. He grabbed it and saw it was a text from Jaehyun.

**Jae: me and tae are gonna go to the soccer game tonight, wanna tag along? maybe get sushi afterwards, idk. i promise we won’t make you feel like a third wheel lol**

He smiled and replied.

**Sicheng: okay i’m in!! but don’t expect me to know anything about the sport ahaha**

**Jae: don’t worry, if it makes u feel better taeyong probably knows less than you ;)**

**Sicheng: tbh?? i believe that lmao**

**Jae: see ahaha! we’ll meet at the front gate at 7:00 then! see u soon xx**

Taeyong ended up being in the same Hip Hop dance class as Sicheng this year, and they became very close through it, and also through being mutually connected with Jaehyun. Sicheng wasn’t sure what exactly inspired him to take a Hip Hop dance class, but he was already taking advanced contemporary and wanted to try something new.

He started hanging out with Jaehyun more too, and that led to him getting introduced to all his and Taeyong’s friends. Sicheng finally felt social, and although he’s only a sophomore, it definitely made this year his best one yet.

Sicheng exited out of the messaging app, bringing his attention to his lockscreen. He still never changed it.

He stared at the picture of him and Yuta, taking his mind back to the last day he saw him. The day in the back of Yuta’s pickup; the day full of confessions, apologies, tears, and a lot of kissing. When Yuta brought him back to Yeonkuk’s house that night, they hugged on the driveway for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes.

_“We’ll meet again one day, okay?”_

Those were the last words he had heard from the boy.

_“One day,”_ Sicheng replied back, followed by one last goodbye kiss. Then he walked inside the house, leaving the blonde boy standing in the middle of the driveway.

Neither have talked to each other since that night. Not a phone call, not a text. Nothing.

But still, three months later, Sicheng hasn’t forgotten about Yuta. Yuta comes to his mind everyday. He couldn’t forget about the boy who brought him so much happiness. The boy who made him discover what love was.

The boy that made him feel brave.

His feelings for Yuta never disappeared. But he’s accepted them. He’s accepted that they live in two different worlds. At first, it was hard to think about Yuta. It was hard remembering such an important person in his life who was suddenly gone. But now whenever Yuta comes to his mind, he thinks about how the boy was a chapter in his life that he’ll never forget. One to look back on and smile at.

Sicheng believed that the saying “Everything happens for a reason” was always a bit silly, but Yuta showing up in his life felt inevitable.

It wasn’t a chapter he was going to bookmark though, because his story isn’t over yet, and he can’t stay stuck in the past. There’s more chapters to come, and although Sicheng doesn’t know what they behold, it’s okay. Everything’s okay now.

Yuta will always be a highlight of his life. One to remember.

Hours passed and Sicheng met Jaehyun and Taeyong waiting for him by the gates. The weather was only a little bit chilly, but it wasn’t too bad. They sat down on the cold metal bleachers, right between the front and the middle. The game had already started, but there had been no goals yet. Right as he was about to ask Jaehyun what the difference between defense and offense was, somebody scored a goal. But it wasn’t Sicheng’s home team, it was from the opposing team.

There was a mix of “awes” and even some “boos” and also mini claps just out of respect. That’s what happens when ninety nine percent of the audience roots for one team. The opposing team huddled the player who scored, eventually breaking away and making their way towards their coach for a quick team meeting. Sicheng looked at the player, and his eyes widened.

He quickly stood up from his seat, getting a better look at the player, then instantly cheering and clapping his hands, even though the crowd had already calmed down. The player must of heard him and looked in Sicheng’s direction, and they locked eyes.

Suddenly, Sicheng felt as though time has stopped, and everybody around him disappeared. The more he looked at the boy, the more he smiled, and the more his heart ached. The more he looked at the boy, the more his eyes started to water. The more he looked at the boy, the more he realized how much he was in love with him.

The boy on the field smiled back, waving at Sicheng. But the eye contact was broken when his coach yelled at him to gather with the rest of the team.

Sicheng sat down, the smile never leaving his face, and his eyes never leaving the boy.

“Was that Yuta?” Jaehyun asked.

Sicheng let out a laugh--a laugh that was out of pure happiness--and he nodded.

“Yeah. That’s him.”

The intercon announced the game has ended, and although everyone in the crowd was a bit disappointed at the score, Sicheng couldn’t care less. It was 7-3, and four of the seven were from Yuta. Yuta once mentioned he was captain of the team, but he never mentioned he was also the ace of the team. Of course he didn’t; Yuta was never one to brag.

He faced his friends, “I’ll be right back, okay?”

They both nodded. He ran down the steps of bleachers, making his way on the field.

“Yuta!”

The blonde was huddled with his team until he turned around at the voice. Sicheng stopped in his tracks but then proceeded when the other boy started running too. He was welcomed into a big, yet kinda sweaty hug, but that didn’t bother him. He wrapped his arms around Yuta tight, showing the boy how much he missed him. Yuta squeezed him back, engulfing him into his warmth.

“I missed you,” Yuta said, his voice cracking while doing so. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” Sicheng replied, almost speechless, yet his mind was filled with a thousand words. They stood there in each others arms, rocking back and forth, neither aware of the multiple stares from Yuta’s team mates.

He pulled back and looked at Sicheng. “What if I did something crazy?”

“Wouldn’t that be everything you do?”

Yuta laughed, then looked into Sicheng’s eyes. “Maybe.”

Yuta softly grabbed the nape of Sicheng’s neck and pulled him into a deep kiss, letting the brown haired boy be reminded of what it’s like to feel so in love. He brought both of his hands down and intertwined them with Sichengs, resting at their sides. There were many cheers and chatter coming from the audience and the players, and normally Sicheng couldn’t stand the limelight, but right now he wanted to stay in it forever.

They both pulled back at the same time, giving each other the same lovingly smile.

“You’re crazy,” Sicheng told him.

Yuta shrugged. “I know.”

They both laughed, and neither could be happier.

They told each other to meet up after the team meeting, so Yuta headed back with Sicheng to his dorm. Now that he had a lot of friends, including Jaehyun, he wasn’t upset about not having a roommate. In fact, he enjoyed the privacy. He wasn’t sure how he got so lucky to be by himself--he was sure he was going to get assigned with another student this year.

“Can I take a shower?” Yuta asked Sicheng when they settled into his room and Sicheng nodded.

“Yeah, you kinda smell.”

Yuta laughed. “Thank you, I’m aware.”

Sicheng grabbed him a towel and some fresh clothes to borrow, and Yuta thanked him and headed into the small bathroom. 

He sat on his messily made bed and sighed. For a second he thought he was dreaming.

They said that they would meet again one day, but Sicheng wasn’t sure if it was ever going to happen. In fact, he was positive that it would be the last time he saw Yuta. Saying that was better than simply just saying “Goodbye.”

But Yuta was inevitable.

Moments later he came out of the shower and was dressed into Sicheng’s clothes, and Sicheng would be lying if he said he didn’t think it was kind of hot.

“Feeling better?” Sicheng asked while the other ruffled his damp hair.

“Yeah, thanks,” Yuta replied with a smile.

_Oh, how he missed that smile._

Yuta walked over and sat on the bed by Sicheng. Sicheng was excellent at making situations awkward, but nothing about them silently sitting together felt awkward at all. They’ve had their awkward silences but they were past that.

“Do you want to go on a walk?” Sicheng suggested.

The other nodded.

The night was a bit more chillier now, but when they naturally laced each other’s hands, warmth was supplied within Sicheng’s body.

The campus surrounding them was large, giving them plenty of paths to walk. They were pacing slowly, and it was just right.

Yuta was the one to speak up first. “I missed you.”

It’s the second time Sicheng has heard him say that today, but that’s what makes Yuta so genuine.

“I missed you too,” he repeated. “Like, a lot.”

A smile curved on Yuta’s lips. “You’re always on my mind, Sichengie.”

Sicheng blushed from the nickname that only his closest friends said. “I still like you, ya know.”

“Well, I still love you, ya know.”

The one word difference was enough to make Sicheng stop in his tracks, making Yuta do the same thing.

“I love you too,” he whispered, looking into the other’s soft brown eyes.

“I graduate in at the end of this semester,” Yuta randomly mentioned, changing the subject right after.

“I thought you’re graduating with a bachelors.”

“I am, I took dual-enrollment classes in high school, all my credits will be completed this term.”

Sicheng paused to think. “That’s only two months away.”

Yuta nodded.

“What will you do afterwards?”

“Well, I’ll graduate with a degree in soccer. But I don’t really know what I want to do still. Sometimes soccer just feels like a hobby and nothing else, ya know?”

Yuta grabbed Sicheng’s other hand. “I want to make this work out. Us work.”

From a casual tone to a more desperate tone, Sicheng let Yuta continue, “I can get a job near you. I can see if any schools nearby needs a soccer coach. Or even a part time job at a cafe for all I care. I’m free to do whatever I want, I guess, until I figure it out. Get out of the small town and into the city here. Start a new life with more opportunities. A life with you.”

_God, Sicheng was so in love._

“What about the dance studio?”

“What?”

“I work at a dance studio. They’re always looking for new teachers.”

Yuta gleamed. “See, Sicheng, see! This will work out! It will really work out. This time with no more lies, no more hiding. We’ll be together, okay?”

Sicheng nodded, smiling with pursed lips. Nakamoto Yuta was truly a ball of sunshine, even at night.

Of course they’ll be together. Afterall… Yuta was inevitable.

When Sicheng looked deeply into the eyes of the boy he loves most, he realized that he knew Yuta’s eyes all too well. They were also filled with love. 

_He looks so beautiful._

Right now, in this moment, Sicheng didn’t feel like a three. He didn’t feel like a six. 

For the first time ever, Sicheng felt like a ten.


End file.
